The Sky is Racist?
The NAACP, on the heels of its attack on Bed Bath and Beyond for selling black-colored Jack O’ Lanterns, officially condemned the sky on Tuesday night for dressing in blackface.
Last Tuesday, the sky colluded with foreign entities, the Sun, and the Moon, to make the sky look darker than usual, and people noticed. With America’s social and political climate so racially charged, NAACP chapters, BlackLivesMatter activists and Karen’s all over the US took to the streets to protest, screaming at the sky that it was in Blackface and would be canceled and boycotted effective immediately.
“By now I would believe everyone [would] know that anything in Black face is offensive,” said local NAACP Director Of Complaints, Wilbur Aldridge. Source
Multiple businesses and individuals with ties to the sky have become targets of activist tactics. All fireworks shows have been called on to be cancelled. Airline company phone lines were bombarded with complaints and accusations of racism.
Stargazers in particular have come under attack for their interest in the night sky. This demographic of almost entirely white people racks up more hours watching the night sky than any other. An ANTIFA organizer, Wilfred Einer, is now under investigation for organizing a “Night Of Broken Glass” event when ANTIFA members had planned to break into houses of known or suspected stargazers and destroy their telescopic lenses. ANTIFA is a self-proclaimed anti-fascist organization.
Donna Point, a self-proclaimed white supporter of Black Lives Matter had this to say. “Those stargazers ought to be ashamed of themselves,” Miss D. Point explained through teary eyes. “How could another human being find something as clearly offensive as the sky beautiful or interesting? I mean, it’s unthinkable. Everyone knows in 2019 that white people aren’t supposed to have anything to do with black people.”
Not everyone agrees with the protesters, however. One interviewee explained, “I can’t believe they’re literally screaming at the sky about racism. I was raised to believe that color doesn’t matter. I can’t imagine trying to raise a kid now with that message since the TV and everyone would be constantly contradicting it. I mean, if color doesn’t matter, why are we talking about it all the time?”
When asked for comment, Congresswoman Maxine Waters said the following regarding the issue:
“For too long the night sky has mocked and misrepresented black people! It doesn’t know the black pain of being a descendant several times removed from American slavery! It doesn’t have its roots in Africa or any country of our ancestors! It doesn’t get to mock the fact that black identity is constantly nationalized and controlled by the main stream media and hip hop artists instead of by our families and our own individuality! If you encounter the sky in a restaurant, in a park, at a gasoline station, you get out and you create a crowd and you push back and you tell it that it’s not welcome anymore, anywhere!”
Disclaimer: this is a work of satire.
